The Proverbs 31 Woman

The lesson for Sept 24 includes four verses from Proverbs 31. Ah, the Proverbs 31 woman. I've had a rocky relationship with her through the years. She's so very competent, always on top of things. I am so very incompetent. Mother's Day is her day. Preachers everywhere cite her virtues while we mere mortals cringe at how far we fall short of the standard she sets.

At least that's the way I used to feel. However, as I've become better acquainted with this woman while reading about her every year on my way through Proverbs, I've actually become quite fond of her.

The first step along this journey came when I somehow acquired a copy of Help! I'm Being Intimidated by the Proverbs 31 Woman: My Battles with a Role Model Who's Larger Than Life by Nancy Kennedy (Multnomah Books, 1995). I'm not sure whether the content of the book or the title did me more good. It was simply nice to realize that I was not alone in my negative feelings. Finding an equally intimidated friend in the author allowed me to relax a little with this woman who burns the candle at both ends and has her household under total control.

The next step was at a Ladies' Retreat where Liz Curtis Higgs was the speaker. She pointed out that it was King Lemuel's mother who described this ideal wife. This is the kind of woman the king's mother wants for her son. Did King Lemuel find such a wife? We don't know. We only know that the poor woman he married had a mother-in-law with some fierce expectations.

What finally brought me around to actually learn to love the Proverbs 31 woman was simply reading about her without the extra baggage that comes with Mother's Day sermons. I mean, look at this lady. She is certainly not your common female Bible character. How many times have we heard about the role of women in the Bible? It was a patriarchal society. Women were on the same level as children and slaves. It was scandalous that Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman in John 4. We hear the role of Bible women described and can picture the cloaked women in modern Islamic fundamentalist societies, faces covered, scooting along in the shadows as second-class citizens.

But look at this Proverbs 31 woman! She doesn't fit the mold. While her husband is chewing the fat down at the city gate (probably involved in politics with more talk than action), she is out wheeling and dealing, buying a field, providing merchants with sashes. She's a business woman and a manager, taking full responsibility for her household. She has staff! The men down at the city gate speak highly of her. The respect they give her husband reflects their respect for her. What a lady! I think I'd like her. Sure, she accomplishes more in a day than I do in a month. I'll introduce my daughters to her so that they can see that their opportunities are not limited by their gender. Here is a woman who demonstrates that we do not have to hide in the shadows. We can use our management skills to their full potential.

The point of the lesson in referring to these verses is respect and honor. There is mutual respect between the Proverbs 31 woman and her husband. She brings him good, not harm. He praises her. Both of them are well thought of down at the city gate. They each enhance the other.

Yep, I like this lady. She's not back in the tent using manipulation in order to get her own way in a patriarchal society like Sarah and Rebekah. She's down at the wharf checking out the latest boatload of merchandise or in her home office planning next month's household schedule.

So, hurrah for the Proverbs 31 woman. You go, girl!