Thursday, December 27, 2007

Second-Mile living - 12/30/07

I'm back. For now, at least.

This week's lesson includes the following comment from Illustrated Bible Life by Jirair Tashjian:

"This is not the same as being a doormat. Nor is it that enemies are made into friends by 'killing them with kindness.' It is, rather, peaceful resistance. It puts enemies into the awkward situation of having to face kindness when retaliation was expected."

I like the last line. And I've heard the first line all of my life. However, I have yet to accept it as an obvious truth. And I'm not moving that direction.

In her book Out of the Saltshaker, Rebecca Manley Pippert tells the story of how she challenged an agnostic student to read the Gospels and try obedience to see what would happen. The student read Matthew 5:38-42 and promised the God whose existence she doubted that, given the opportunity, she would try it. It didn't take long for the opportunity to present itself. Paying the cost to obey brought a complete change to her life.

As I contemplated that story, I realized that I and most everyone I know had accepted the "we can't be doormats" philosophy without even trying it to see what would happen. If an agnostic college student could try out obedience, why couldn't I? So I signed on to do my very best to obey the instructions from the Sermon on the Mount. But only for fifty years. Then I would evaluate the results and see if I wanted to continue the experiment.

I'm still not sure how second-mile living really works out in real life. I seem incapable of sustaining my position as a doormat. It's rare when I can cheerfully offer the second mile on top of the first one that has been demanded of me. Or offer up the other cheek when the first one is still stinging. However, what little data I have managed to collect indicates that non-resistance is actually far more rewarding than defending one's rights.

People don't walk over me any more when I'm lying still than when I'm squealing in protest. Nor do they notice me any less. Rather, passive living seems attractive to those who are observing how I respond to an abuser. And there's the bonus of feeling completely triumphant when I manage to lie still and allow someone to walk over me without protest. It's not weakness. It's strength under control. It's a choice to keep silent in the face of insult and abuse. When I can manage to pull it off, there's no lack of personal affirmation in it.

Fortunately, I have a few years left to continue my experiment and see if I can get any better at it. I'm not bleeding yet.